Not even kidding. Research shows that people with fragile mental states can improve their own mood and self-esteem by helping others. It can be a simple gesture of kindness like holding a door open for someone, or it could be as big as being an active listener for stressed people, either face-to-face or online.
As for why... I won't go into all the science stuff, since you're likely not here for that. Simply put, by helping others, you can give yourself a placebo effect where you feel better simply because you brought about some positive changes in the world. That feeling of satisfaction after helping somebody? Basically this placebo effect in a nutshell.
Here are some habits that you should get into to increase altruism and regulate your overall mental health.
1. Adopt an Altruistic Mindset
This seems easy enough, right? Heh. Nope.
The problem with telling someone to adopt a different mindset to the one they already have is that the mindset that they already have can be considered a force of habit. Or, in this case, a habit of thinking.
You know how it is with habits. Breaking them is one thing, but replacing a habit with another? That's just not fair, is it?
Except I have the perfect solution for you poor saps out there questioning whether life is worth the trouble. Instead of wandering from hobby to hobby, finding your "calling in life", just reflect on your suffering, and ensure that no-one else goes through the same thing.
Or simply put, take your destiny into your own hands and make your "calling in life" to prevent the suffering of other people.
It's what I do, and it's something that I encourage you all to make a habit out of. This world needs more altruism, and it all starts with us: the generation of humans who are well aware of these issues and are not blinded by our egos and/or avarice to change it.
And sure, cynical people would say that being kind in this world only serves to get you hurt, and I don't disagree with that. However, kindness is something that everyone needs in this world to regulate their mental heath, whether they are the ones receiving it or giving it.
Have a little think about it, and in the process, try out this next habit as well.
2. Get Used to Receiving Help From Others
This sounds counter-intuitive, but to be able to help others well, you need to be able to accept help as well. Don't be the friend who always gives but never takes, that's being a pushover. At the same time, don't be the friend who always takes but never gives, that's exploitation.
You need to strike a balance. When you are in trouble, you ask for help, and when someone else is in trouble, you give them help. Humans naturally flock together into groups, because a no-one can hunt a mammoth alone.
Despite everything I've said so far, kindness isn't a transaction. You cannot expect others to be kind to you simply because you are kind to them. Sure, some people may reciprocate, but not all of them will.
This balance is more like an agreement than a solid contract. When people receive kindness, they are not obligated but are inclined to reciprocate that kindness. For people who want to adopt an altruistic mindset, first learn how to accept help. That feeling of wanting to repay that kindness? Keep that feeling in your gut.
Also, don't repay the deed if they don't need it. Pay it forwards to the next person that needs help. If enough people adopt this lifestyle, it'll eventually create a cycle.
Obviously, that's an overly optimistic way of putting it. At most, you're only probably going to affect your immediate community, or even less, but hey, a little step forward for a single person can be a huge step for humankind.
On another note...
3. Remember That Failure is a Part of Life
I'm sure many of you already know this, but I've seen so many people get frustrated at their own failures that they sometimes lose sight of what's important. Don't invest yourself in doing a particular activity if there is a chance of you failing, because nothing feels worse than putting your all into something only to have it snatched away.
Right, you don't need me spouting poetry at you. But just a few words of warning before you try and help someone: Learn when to quit. If someone you are helping for a long period of time is showing no signs of recovery or even a will to recover, then it's likely too late to try to help them without making some kind of sacrifice in order to do so.
I get it, not being able to help someone hurts, but realizing that all of your efforts to help someone else have been completely for naught? That hurts way worse. Not only is it a waste of your own time and mental health worrying about someone you cannot save, but it's also another way for the world to tell you that your actions are worthless.
So next time you make an attempt at something, don't invest all your effort into it. If they turn out to be fruitless, the only one who gets hurt is you. Even so, when failure inevitably comes around and socks you right in the face, you shouldn't let it get to you.
Rejecting failure blinds people. They become so lost in their own frustration that they lose the use of their logical reasoning. Just stop right here and think about that for one moment. How would one be able to take care of themselves if they can't think clearly?
You're back? Good. Because I'm not done yet.
4. Observe Your Surroundings
Right, this one's a little more obscure than the others, but honestly? It's how I learned to read other peoples' discomfort so easily, so I wouldn't be so quick to sweep it underneath the rug just like that.
The thing about this, though, is that it's much easier said than done. Heck, I don't even consciously do this, it's kinda just a subconscious thing that I do from time to time. However, if you take the time out of what I assume would be your average daily routine to really try to notice things about people, you'd be surprised by what you can find.
"He's a little more jumpy than usual. Did something shock him earlier today?"
"Her tone is flat... Did someone upset her?"
"She seems cheerful today. She probably got some good news today."
"What's with his fidgeting? Something's definitely going on in his personal life."
All of these thoughts have ran through my head at least once, and that's because I observe. By observing, you gain insight into how people feel and may react in certain situations. By gaining insight, you will be able to better communicate with your intended subject, especially if you are approaching them with the intention to help.
Of course, if you immediately approach someone just like that, it can be construed as creepy, just like how a lot of people avoided yours truly like the plague the first few times this has happened. But if you play your cards correctly and adopt the habits on this list, you'll be on your way to become the Ultimate Altruist. You'll be able to make others feel better, and, consequently, yourself, and in the end, isn't that what truly matters?
So if you ever find yourself in a funk, try this out. Who knows? Maybe it'll do you more good than you expected. And remember: Helping others in their time of need will also come back to support you in your time of need.
This is The Founder, signing out.
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